Spring has sprung! And it's kickin' my....

So this week wasn't stellar. But it was still pretty good. First off, I apologize for the lack of daily posts. Life has been insane crazy, and on top of that, I've been having maddening computer issues which have kept me off the laptop most of the time. I have missed writing these posts each day as much as I'm sure you've missed reading them. I'm sure. ;)
Okay, truth? I didn't get back to my daily workouts as I intended, and as I promised in my last post. I did manage to get in 3 workouts this week. 2 runs and 1 P90 workout. The first run, and the P90 workout were both cut short by my complete inability to pay attention to the alarm clock. Spring is really busting on me so far. First the time change has really messed with me. I've had a really hard time adjusting, and getting into bed early enough to get up on time to complete my workouts. And then to top it off, the pollen has given me terrible allergy headaches and I've already lost one day to a migraine.
Now, I don't know about you, but oversleeping sets my whole day off on the wrong course. I feel rushed and stressed from the get-go, and I can't seem to shake it during the day. Unfortunately, most of my days this past week have felt like that. So, overall I haven't felt great. I feel as though my whole balance is slightly off. I've tried to remedy my unbalanced state by focusing on my diet and nutrition, and trying to eat things that I knew would give my system the boost it needed. 
In the end, it worked out that I balanced my lack of work-outs with a stronger focus on my nutrition. I finished out the week by finally, finally (!) meeting up with that elusive 179 that I've been chasing for the last 8 months! I followed up that victory with a great run on Friday morning. Then Saturday, I stepped on the scale to discover that I was holding steady at 179, and that it wasn't just some random water-weight fluke. So hooray for that!
Here's hoping this week will be better....or maybe not. Maybe just here's hoping I'm happy with how it turns out.

Week Two? Maybe not... But that's okay

Well, obviously since I haven't posted since Tuesday, my week hasn't been nearly as productive as last week. There are a lot of reasons for that, but overall, this week was really just a shining example of "life" happening. In addition to being sick the first part of the week, the time change really messed with my sleep schedule so I had a terrible time trying to get out of bed in the morning. I couldn't even make it to work on time most days this week, let alone get up in time to get in an hour long work out. The only exceptions were Tuesday and Thursday.
Tuesday was Yoga, which I already wrote about. Thursday was Week 4, Day 1 of the Ease Into 10K program. It was actually a really good run. After missing my workout on Wednesday, I felt pretty confident after my run on Thursday that I was back on track. Sadly, life had other plans for me. Thursday turned out to be a really stressful day at work, and I really needed to blow off some steam that night. We had some friends over and grilled some burgers. I ate too much, drank too much, and stayed up too late. None of these things added up to a recipe for success for Friday morning. But they did provide me with a great night, and helped me relax which was what I needed more than anything.
The rest of my weekend has been really great, but I haven't worked out at all since Thursday. However, I'm not that bothered by it. I'm ready and anxious to get back to it, but I'm not beating myself up over missing the workouts. No, I haven't been as diligent as I should have been. Yes, I've delayed the achievement of my goal. But, I've had a great weekend with great friends and tomorrow morning I'm going to get right back in the swing of things. Yes, it is very important to me to live a healthy life and a huge part of that is working out and eating good foods. But another part is allowing yourself time to enjoy your life and finding a healthy balance for the other parts of your life, not just the nutritional and fitness aspects. Without the right people to share your life with, the rest of it just doesn't matter.

What a difference a day makes...

Was I ever glad to put yesterday in my rear view! Compared to yesterday, I felt like a brand new person this morning. Apparently there is some mini virus going around. I've talked to 3 different people who've all complained of the same symptoms I had yesterday. Aches, fatigue, just generally wiped out. Anyway, be on the lookout for the tiny ugly germs, they'll sneak attack you.
So, yoga. Yoga was great this morning, I was so glad that this was the workout I did after a sick day. I think I might make it my new "post sickness" workout. It would have been even better if I had pushed myself even further. The complete Yoga workout is an hour and a half. Anytime I've ever done this video, I've only ever made it about 30 minutes or so. I definitely fell victim to the mental barrier this morning, and stopped at my usual stopping place. I didn't really pay that much attention to whether or not my body wanted to stop. My brain just thought it was time to stop, and so we did.
I still felt really good afterward, and was glad for my 30 minutes. But I had the time this morning to go longer, and in hindsight, definitely had the strength to as well. I think I was just a bit afraid of the unknown. I've never seen or attempted any of the moves past the 30 minute mark, so they're scary. I know I can do (okay, kind of do) the moves up to 29:59. Anything after 30:01 is all uncharted waters.
So, lesson learned. Don't be a pansy. Put on my big girl panties and do the work. No one is making me do this except for me. In the end, I'm only hurting myself by not doing it. I can either maybe be sore for working my body harder than I bargained for, or I can be upset with myself for not pushing to find out how much more I can do.

Also, I mentioned in my Sunday post that I wrapped up my first week at 180.8, just .8 lb from my first mini goal of 179. My final weigh-in for the first week was on Saturday morning. Sunday I got a little cocky and didn't watch what I ate nearly as closely I as I should have, having been so close to my goal. I ate a lot of sodium, and didn't drink nearly enough water. When I weighed Monday morning....183. *#$^#$(!!!! However, interestingly Monday was also my sick day so I didn't work out at all. Monday night, I also treated myself to the top of a Guinness and Bailey's cupcake, and a few vanilla sandwich cookies dipped in Nutella. By all accounts, I should have only moved further from the elusive 179. But just because I'm a masochist, I hopped on the scale again this morning. 181.2....Seriously? I work out and pay close attention to my nutrition all week, only to end up barely more than half a pound away from my first goal. But the ONE day I let myself slack off and eat garbage, I lose 1.8 lbs??? SERIOUSLY?! Too bad it doesn't always work like that...

Gorgeous weather! Too bad I'm under it...

Despite my rousing post yesterday about being motivated and pushing myself to make time each day for my workout, today it just wasn't happening. From the moment my eyes opened this morning, I have counted the minutes until I could crawl back into bed. I have felt sick and just generally pretty crummy all day and decided not to make things worse by making myself do a workout that I would hate. While I want to push myself beyond my comfort levels while doing this workout "experiment" if you will, I never want running or any other workout to be something I "have" to do....it's something I want to do. I need to do it, but that's entirely different than having to do it. It's much too easy to begrudge something you have to do.
Anyway, I took the day off, felt crappy, and treated myself to some chocolate and DVR tonight. Tomorrow, I'm back in the saddle with some early morning P90 Yoga, which I'm looking forward to. I think it will be a great way to get back into the groove after feeling so bad today.

Week One? Check!

One week down, six hundred and seventy two bazillion left. Okay, slight exaggeration. But seriously. This is going to take awhile. However, my first week is behind me, and it was a near perfect week. It was challenging to make myself find the time each day, especially toward the end of the week. But I managed to work out for some portion each day. I wasn't sure it was going to happen yesterday. I overslept, and Nick woke up early. Jason had to work most of the day, and we had dinner plans so I knew my day was pretty packed. The only time I knew I would have to work out was in the morning, before Nick got up. But, as it always does, life happened and threw a wrench in my plans. Thankfully, Nick was cooperative enough (and sleepy enough) to go down for an early nap. I made a deal with myself that I would give myself 30 minutes of the P90X Arms and Shoulders video, but would use heavier weights so I could get a bit more out of the moves. I definitely feel it more today, but in a good way.
Overall, I'd say my first week went great. I'm really proud of myself for pushing Friday and Saturday to make myself put in the time. Over the last year when I've tried to start some sort of workout/exercise routine, I usually wimp out before the first week is over. I always end up skipping a day, and then convince myself that I've already screwed up my "perfect" week, so why keep going? But I read something online recently that said "Saying 'Oh I've already screwed up my good eating today, so I'll just eat crap' is like saying 'Oh I dropped my phone on the floor, so I'll just smash it until it breaks'." I thought that was pretty clever...and accurate. It's totally true, and we all do it. So, I'm pretty proud of myself for getting through the first week since I've recently fallen short time and time again. It gives me a great push for motivation going forward. AND I wrapped up the week only .8 lb short of my first mini goal of 179 (oh 179...you elusive devil), so that's an added bonus.

Oops! and Aaahh...

Today started off with an Oops! I had a bit of an alarm clock malfunction (ie: user error), and unfortunately it didn't go off until much too late to get in my morning run. Right off the bat, this made me a bit stressed out because I know my track record here. Same ol' story...miss the morning work-out, say great things about how I plan to make it up in the evening, spend the first 3/4 of the day still planning on making it up, then slowly slip into spend the remaining 1/4 being bombarded with life and finding a hundred reasons why I "deserve" or would be justified in just skipping the day's workout. Right about here is where my grand master plan usually falls apart. Right about here is where I start letting myself off the hook to follow through. Eventually, this turns into a few days in a row of missed workouts, which turns into justifying eating more junk, which turns into a disaster. I find myself right back at the starting line all over again, and all because I made excuses.
Today, however, I was determined to not let it happen again. I told myself over and over today that I was going for a run tonight, no matter what. I even made sure to tell Jason so that someone else knew I was planning to go. No matter who came over, no matter how much fun we would have, no matter how comfy the couch. I was not going to slack off on Day 5, and then have to come here and make excuses in writing. Making excuses in your head is one thing, but to put them in writing for all to see is another altogether. It puts your excuses on display. Seeing them in black and white just makes them seem even more invalid than they already are.
It was definitely challenging, and a HUGE part of me wanted nothing more than to flop on the couch after getting Nick in bed. When I say huge, I don't mean devil-on-my-shoulder kind of temptation. I mean gargantuan, life-sized demon staring me in the face with an ice cream sandwich and the DVR remote on a silver platter, coaxing me toward the coach. But, I somehow managed to resist, laced up my running shoes, and finally headed for the gym.
I can't even explain how amazing it felt to hear Allison (she's the voice on my training app) say "Workout Complete!" Aaahhh....

Productivity? Yes please.

Hi my name is Mary and I'm a productivity goddess. For today at least. I not only managed to drag my hiney out of bed on time, I actually woke up a few minutes before my alarm even went off. After getting up and changed, I checked the length of today's workout DVD (Cardio X). 43 minutes. Phew! I was a tad relieved to find it was a bit shorter than the Plyometrics DVD. I'm swapping Cardio X for Plyo because I live on the 3rd floor, and there is just no good way to complete a Plyo workout without completely pissing off my downstairs neighbors. I was a bit apprehensive, having never done the Cardio X video before, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Anyway, after checking the video length I discovered I had time to clean up a bit so I not only got in an awesome workout, I also cleaned my kitchen and living room, and did some laundry all before 6:30 this morning. Let me tell ya, I felt like Superwoman by the time I headed into work today!

Okay, on to the workout...
Ladies and gents, we have a winner! I am IN LOVE with Cardio X! It is definitely one of the more fun P90X workouts I've done. It is a 43 minute combination of Yoga, Kenpo (a form of martial arts), and Plyometrics (also called "jump training"). I've done all three of those workouts via P90X in the past, so I was a bit familiar with the moves, but not in this combination. It incorporated some of my favorite moves from Plyometrics, without including many of the ones that require a lot of jumping so I was able to avoid *most* of the noise. The Yoga was great, and I felt a lot more capable of performing the movements than the first time I attempted them a year ago (when I did P90 the first time). I liked that Cardio X started with Yoga. It was a great transition for the body, especially working out first thing in the morning. The stretching and work on the muscles, and the controlled breathing eased my body into getting ready for the ready of the workout. Kenpo, of course, as always made me feel like the most uncoordinated person on the planet and made me ever grateful that I was performing these moves in the safety and privacy of my own living room. But like with anything, it will get better over time. I hope...
By the end I was dripping sweat, and felt completely worked out but not worn out. I actually felt great! I had noticed over the last few days that I wasn't really "feeling" my workouts after the fact like I anticipated. I haven't been sore much at all following my workouts, which lets me know I'm not working hard enough for my muscles to really be challenged. After this one, however, I can already tell I'm going to feel it tomorrow. Cardio X is definitely my new fave!

And on the third day...she did not rest.

Three days in. So far, I'm loving the accountability factor of writing this blog. BUT I'm only three days in. I think most people still like new things on the third day. So, I'm not calling it a major score yet. But I think it's going to work. I definitely feel a bigger push to get out of bed in the morning, knowing that if I miss a day of workout, I have to document it here, as a permanent reminder that I slacked off.
My workout today was Week 3, Day 2 of the 10K training. Still the same as Monday's - a 5 minute warm up, run 5 min, walk 5 min, repeat 5 times, 5 minute cool down. The difference between Monday and today is that today I gave myself enough time to actually finish! I tried increasing my speed by .1/mph each run cycle. I started running at 4.2, and ended up at 4.7. I feel like for where I am right now, that was a good pace. I don't feel like I let myself coast through, and I don't think I pushed myself too hard. Ultimately, yes, I would love to be an overall faster runner. But one thing at a time. Right now I'm just trying to build up my endurance to be able to run for longer periods of time/longer distances. For now I'm trying very hard to not worry about my pace per mile. I find that it's just discouraging at this point.

Three days in. Apparently this also the time the bad cravings begin, because all day I had to keep talking myself out of eating trash. I wasn't necessarily overwhelmed or bombarded by cravings, but I definitely noticed that my brain started trying to lean more towards unhealthy things like high-carb, high-fat, high-sugar foods. As hard as it's going to be to get back into a routine of regular exercise, it's going to be even harder to get back into a routine of healthy eating. But I've done it before, and I know I can do it again. I'm finding a lot of new recipes on Pinterest that are of the healthier variety, and that's definitely helping to keep the "junk food" cravings at bay. It's extremely helpful and exciting to have a wide variety of options, so I don't always feel like I have to eat the same 5 meals just because they are "healthy". I made this recipe tonight and it was outstanding!

Cardio X tomorrow morning, definitely need to get in bed soon to get rested up for that!

Discoveries

I discovered a couple things about myself today.
First, I am really ADD. Okay, so remember how in one of my Confession posts, I mentioned how I really like having my "me" time in the morning? And remember how I said one of the things I like to do is clean house in the morning? Wellllll, I found myself cleaning up during my workout this morning. Today I did Chest and Shoulders for P90X. And in between sets, I found myself taking socks to the hamper, or straightening the couch cushions, or clearing stuff off the table. I mean, come on, I can't do push-ups for a solid minute anyway! Might as well make the best of that remaining 30 seconds. When I thought about it, I realized I do the same thing when I run. Not clean my house, of course....that would be disastrous. But I can't stand to just BE. I have to have music or a book to listen to while I'm road running, or something to read or watch if I'm on the treadmill. I have to split my focus between the physical activity and....something else. Weird, but I doubt that's just me.
Anyway, the other thing I discovered is that I really dislike the P90X Ab workout. Not because it's hard, I just don't like it. I don't like the exercises, I don't like the people in it. Who knows why, I just don't like it. So, I'm on the hunt for a good 3x a week ab workout that I can tack onto the end of my P90X workouts. Let me know if you have any suggestions.
The last thing I discovered was how quickly after starting a workout regimen I become more acutely aware of my body and how I treat it during the day. For example, I went for a walk on my lunch hour and for the majority of the walk I found myself paying close attention to my posture (which is horrible by the way). I did the same thing while at my desk and in my car. And everything I ate today and yesterday, I immediately began thinking about what my body needed out of what I was eating. I found it absolutely astounding how quickly that awareness came into play.
I also reinforced what I already knew...that if I'm going to work out, I have to do it in the morning. Otherwise, I will simply make excuses to not do it later in the day. Now, granted, I did snooze a little longer than necessary this morning and I didn't have time for the full 58 minute video. BUT I showed up. At 5:15 this morning, I showed up, and for for the next 45 minutes, I was there.

Join me, won't you?

So for the last few months, I've been whining in various forms about my lack of progress on my journey of weight loss and improving my health. I've gotten back in the saddle a few times, only to dismount again about a week later. And frankly, I'm just so fed up with myself, I don't know what else to do. So here I am. I decided that taking to the internet to keep myself anonymously accountable to all you fine folk might be just the thing I need. Perhaps I need the potential judgement encouragement of faceless internet users to keep me motivated to get my larger-than-I-would-like ass back on track. 
My intent is to completely change my current approach, so as to shock my body - if you will - into compliance. Easing into things is all well and good. But I'm perfectly aware of what my body is capable of as long as I push myself to do it. Easing into things will only provide me with more excuses. I need to jump in, feet first, all or nothing.
Today I am (re)starting a program I tried to start two weeks ago. For 6 days out of the week, I will alternate the Ease Into 10K program with the P90X workouts. Make no mistake, This. Will. Suck. While I love both running and P90X, doing them both together is pretty intense. However, one of the things I disliked about doing P90X the first time I started (and quit) it was that if I followed the everyday regimen, I had no time to run. And one of the things I dislike about running daily is that I don't allow myself time to work other parts of my body. I am really excited that alternating these two work-outs will give me a chance to do it all.
There was once a time where I truly loved the feeling of pushing my body and seeing how far I could go and what I could make my muscles do. I surprised myself regularly with the things I "knew" my fat girl body couldn't possibly do, but accomplished anyway. I want that again. I want to feel like I have to work out, simply because I can't stand to miss it.
So today, I started the running program. Technically, it's a 10 week program. However, since I'm not a brand new runner, I'm starting out with Week 3. The runs for the week include a 5 minute warm-up, 5 minute run, 1 minute walk, repeat 5 times, then a 5 minute cool-down. Unfortunately, I didn't get my lazy butt out of bed in time (despite my alarm that pops up with a new motivational quote each day), so I only got to complete 25 minutes of it. Overall, I would say I chickened out. I don't think I pushed myself nearly as much as I could have. I didn't finish the whole work-out, and what I did do was pretty easy. Yes, I did complete 25 minutes of the work-out. But if I'd just gotten myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier, I could have started this blog with a successfully completed first work-out. To be honest, I've beaten myself up about it a bit today. Yes, yes, I know. Tomorrow's a new day. You're just starting out, cut yourself some slack. Whatever, that's BS. I've gotten where I am now by constantly cutting myself too much slack. I have to be hard on myself because no one else is going to be. I am absolutely my own worse critic, and right or wrong that will never change.
Today, right now, my journey starts over at 182 pounds (still haven't met up with stupid 179 yet...) I have a goal to lose 32 more pounds, for an overall weight loss of 109 pounds. I may have already lost 77 pounds. That's great and I certainly don't discount that. But that was a year ago. I still have work to do, and if I want to get that work done, I need to change some things up.
Each day I plan to post about my progress with no sugar-coating, and it would be a lot of fun if you could join me. Who knows? It might even help keep me going.
Tomorrow is P90X day! Apparently, I have to "BRING IT"!...