Join me, won't you?

So for the last few months, I've been whining in various forms about my lack of progress on my journey of weight loss and improving my health. I've gotten back in the saddle a few times, only to dismount again about a week later. And frankly, I'm just so fed up with myself, I don't know what else to do. So here I am. I decided that taking to the internet to keep myself anonymously accountable to all you fine folk might be just the thing I need. Perhaps I need the potential judgement encouragement of faceless internet users to keep me motivated to get my larger-than-I-would-like ass back on track. 
My intent is to completely change my current approach, so as to shock my body - if you will - into compliance. Easing into things is all well and good. But I'm perfectly aware of what my body is capable of as long as I push myself to do it. Easing into things will only provide me with more excuses. I need to jump in, feet first, all or nothing.
Today I am (re)starting a program I tried to start two weeks ago. For 6 days out of the week, I will alternate the Ease Into 10K program with the P90X workouts. Make no mistake, This. Will. Suck. While I love both running and P90X, doing them both together is pretty intense. However, one of the things I disliked about doing P90X the first time I started (and quit) it was that if I followed the everyday regimen, I had no time to run. And one of the things I dislike about running daily is that I don't allow myself time to work other parts of my body. I am really excited that alternating these two work-outs will give me a chance to do it all.
There was once a time where I truly loved the feeling of pushing my body and seeing how far I could go and what I could make my muscles do. I surprised myself regularly with the things I "knew" my fat girl body couldn't possibly do, but accomplished anyway. I want that again. I want to feel like I have to work out, simply because I can't stand to miss it.
So today, I started the running program. Technically, it's a 10 week program. However, since I'm not a brand new runner, I'm starting out with Week 3. The runs for the week include a 5 minute warm-up, 5 minute run, 1 minute walk, repeat 5 times, then a 5 minute cool-down. Unfortunately, I didn't get my lazy butt out of bed in time (despite my alarm that pops up with a new motivational quote each day), so I only got to complete 25 minutes of it. Overall, I would say I chickened out. I don't think I pushed myself nearly as much as I could have. I didn't finish the whole work-out, and what I did do was pretty easy. Yes, I did complete 25 minutes of the work-out. But if I'd just gotten myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier, I could have started this blog with a successfully completed first work-out. To be honest, I've beaten myself up about it a bit today. Yes, yes, I know. Tomorrow's a new day. You're just starting out, cut yourself some slack. Whatever, that's BS. I've gotten where I am now by constantly cutting myself too much slack. I have to be hard on myself because no one else is going to be. I am absolutely my own worse critic, and right or wrong that will never change.
Today, right now, my journey starts over at 182 pounds (still haven't met up with stupid 179 yet...) I have a goal to lose 32 more pounds, for an overall weight loss of 109 pounds. I may have already lost 77 pounds. That's great and I certainly don't discount that. But that was a year ago. I still have work to do, and if I want to get that work done, I need to change some things up.
Each day I plan to post about my progress with no sugar-coating, and it would be a lot of fun if you could join me. Who knows? It might even help keep me going.
Tomorrow is P90X day! Apparently, I have to "BRING IT"!...